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Delusional Iggy/The Farming Life isn't for Me
Delusional Iggy/The Farm Life Isn't for Me is a fan-made episode written CartoonLover, Rigsrigsrigs10918, Disneydude15, and Magic-is-cute. Premise After getting injured, Igor is trying to remember what happened while TJ, Gamma, and Marcus debate over how Igor got injured./Vladimir and Sonia, after being overworked at the farm, decide to pay a visit at Holly's Puppy Pound. Plot Act One: Delusional Iggy Part One (In the Pound Infirmary, most of Igor's Body is covered in Bandages. Elaine is examining him.) Bright Eyes: So, will Iggy be okay, Young Doctor Whopper? Whopper: Well, he's had a lot of damage, but he'll live. It will take time for him to heal. Elaine: Speaking from an actual veterinarian, he will be recovered in five weeks. (Gamma, TJ, and Marcus are heard hollering at each other.) Elaine: One moment. (To Gamma, TJ, and Marcus.) Marcus honey, TJ, Gamma, please be quiet. Igor needs some rest. Marcus: I'm sorry, Elaine sweetie. We were debating over who hurt Igor. TJ: I suggest that it was an accident. Gamma: It was no accident. Kaptain Kid Stoneheart hired an assassin to kill Igor. Marcus: I thought Katrina tried to get Iggy's cat heart by hiring a mad doctor. Elaine: Well, we don't know what happened. Please leave the room. Igor needs to have some quiet. We'll talk about what happened later. Okay? (Inside the hospital room, Bright Eyes is watching over Igor...) Bright Eyes: Iggy... I know you probably won't hear me, but good work on the adoption. (Igor rubs his head.) Igor: Adoption? I don't remember. I wonder what happened, Bright Eyes. (Elaine walks to Bright Eyes.) Elaine: I hate to break this to you, but Igor has temporary amnesia. He will have his full memory back in five hours' time. Whopper: In any case, we'll need to watch over him, in case of "From Bad to Worse". Igor: Bright Eyes...? Good work, Bright Eyes, making a snowy replica of Whopper. Whopper: Huh? Is he going kinda... (makes a cuckoo sound.) Elaine: I believe he is suffering from hallucination. (Marcus enters.) Marcus: I know what happened to you, Igor. I believe that you are under a drug that causes you to hallucinate. Then, you were viciously attacked by Brutus Stoneheart. I rushed in and was able to rescue you before he could deliver the death blow. Elaine: Oh, come now, Marcus. All that happened is that Cooler found Igor seriously wounded. Not even he knows what happened. Igor: (Looking at Marcus) Why are you dressed as a samurai? (Marcus looks at himself.) Marcus: Huh? I'm not wearing any samurai armor. (TJ enters.) TJ: I'll tell you what happened. (To Marcus) And it's better than your mythological story. (To Igor) You see, you got involved in a car accident. I rushed to the scene and was able to pull you out. I took a picture of the people who caused the accident. I should know, I have evidence. Igor: Wha-- that's him! That's the Red Herring! Someone pull a chain so plastic fishes can fall on him! (TJ looks around.) TJ: Red Herring? I don't see any red herring? But, have a look a this. (TJ shows a picture of a wrecked car.) Bright Eyes: Let me see that. (grabs the photo.) A wrecked car?! TJ! This cartoon is TV-Y, not TV-14. TJ: The accident wasn't fatal. Everyone else got out in one piece. (Gamma grabs the photo. He then glares at TJ.) Gamma: Moron. This is a photo of a wrecked model from Alvin's Auto-Wreck Auto Show. (Tony enters, sobbing and carrying a bouquet of flowers.) Bright Eyes: Tony... Tony: (Shedding tears) Yes, Bright Eyes? Bright Eyes: Take as much time as you want. Tony: (Hugging Bright Eyes) Thank you so much. Elaine: (Pushes Marcus, TJ, and Gamma out of the infirmary) Come on, let's go. Let Iggy sleep. Gamma: (Glaring at TJ and Marcus) This isn't over. Tony: Iggy, I know I can't say much, but I hope you recover. Igor: Thank you, Mr. Pirate Captain. (Tony gets a confused look on his face.) Tony: Huh? And to think Sparky used to be the goofy one. (Sparky enters.) Sparky: I brought some delicious soup, Igsmeister. Tony: Huh. I was just talking about him. Sparky: Talking about who? Tony: Nothing, Sparky. Iggy's gone bananas. Sparky: Well, in that case, I could whip up a banana cake. Heh heh. Tony: No, Sparky. I mean that Iggy's gone crazy. And this really isn't the best time for jokes. Sparky: Oh. (Sparky gives the soup to Igor.) Sparky: Here ya go. Igor: Thank you. (Looking at the soup) Is that a bowl of strawberry juice? Sparky: I thought strawberry was a pinkish color. (Sparky gets a confused look on his face.) Sparky: What am I saying?! Now he got me confused. Part Two (Outside the infirmary, Gamma, TJ, and Marcus are still arguing with each other. Winky, Anchor, and Vigor enter.) Winky: What's wrong? Vigor: You're still arguing? Can't You read that sign which says "Quiet, Hospital Zone"? Gamma: We can read, Vigor. We're still debating on how Igor got injured. Anchor: In any case, uncle Gamma, I hope Iggy's ok. (Inside the Infirmary, Bright Eyes and Tony are watching over Igor.) Igor: Um, beautiful princess, could I please draw you? You have a sketch book and pencil? (Tony grabs a pencil and sketch book.) Tony: I don't know who he's calling a princess, but I'm hoping he's talking to you. Bright Eyes: If you mean me, sure. Igor: I can't move My arms much, but My paws can still move. Tony: Can you move your legs and feet? (Igor wiggles his toes.) Igor: Yes. Hold a pose, please. Bright Eyes: (Making a pose) Like this? (Igor takes the pencil with his left foot and draws on a sketchbook while holding the pencil with his toes.) Tony: I've heard of footnotes, but never foot drawings. (Momo and Violet enter.) Violet: Why is Igor drawing with his feet? Tony: Iggy can't move his arms. That's why Iggy is using his toes to draw a sketch of Bright Eyes. Violet: Hmm. Whatever works. (Momo pulls out a card.) Violet: Momo and I just stopped by to give a present to Igor. Tony: Is it a gift card for Iggy? Violet: No, just a get-well card. Igor: Hmm. ah. a pup wearing a sombrero. Very good. Violet: I beg your pardon? (checks the card, which is actually a drawing of Violet and Momo holding a first aid kit.) Tony: You'll have to forgive Iggy. He's just seeing things that aren't really there. Anyway, I'm sorry. I thought it has a gift card inside. Iggy: Ah, done. (gives Bright Eyes the sketch which is Bright eyes dressed like a Roman Empress.) Bright Eyes: Uh, wow. That's very nice. Me as a Roman Empress. (Thinking) His injury must have been affected His eyes, fortunately, His vision will heal. That's great, Iggy. and thanks. Igor: You're welcome. Huh? when did this room turn into sand? (Gamma, Winky, and Anchor enter.) Anchor: Are you sure you want to tell Iggy what happened, uncle Gamma? Gamma: Yes. (To Igor) Igor. I know what happened to you. Tony: Oh, really? Tell us. Gamma: Well, it all started when I was minding my own business, playing my ocarina. Suddenly, I overheard Kaptain Kid talking to an assassin he hired. What I overheard is that the assassin was hired to kill you, but you must have gotten away with serious injuries. Fearing for your safety, I sent Cooler to look for you. Sure enough, Cooler found you and that's how it happened. (Igor is now speaking gibberish.) Bright Eyes: What did he say? Tony: Looks like Iggy is having another symptom: speaking nonsense. Gamma: Hmm... The assassin almost got you. I have evidence to prove it. (Gamma pulls out a tape recorder.) Gamma: Behold! The actual conversation between Kaptain Kid and his assassin. Tony: Can't You give it a rest? The way you have evidence is like You're stalking poor Iggy. besides, that's not how Cooler told me. Gamma: I was not stalking Igor. Now, pay attention. (Gamma presses the play button.) Kaptain Kid's voice: The reason why I hired you is because one of those Pound Puppies claimed that he has a cat's heart. Assassin's voice: And what do you want me to do, boss? Kaptain Kid's voice: I want you to kill Igor and bring back his heart in this box. Do you understand? Assassin's voice: Yes, boss. I won't fail. (The conversation stops.) Gamma: Now do you see what I mean? Tony: Hey, Tape recordings aren't admissible evidence. That's why We have Lie Detectors. (Gamma pulls out a video camera.) Gamma: Would you say otherwise? (Gamma then presses the play button. It shows Kaptain Kid having a discussion with his assassin.) Kaptain Kid: I want you to kill Igor and bring his heart back (shows the box) in this box. Do you understand? Assassin: Yes, boss. I won't fail. (The tape ends.) Gamma: Now, what do you have to say to that? Tony: Only Cooler can say if that's legit evidence. Just stop badgering Us. Gamma: I am not badgering. All Cooler told me that he found Igor badly injured and not even he knows what happened. I'll show him the tape and prove that Igor was a victim in a murder-for-hire plot. Wait here. (Gamma storms off.) Tony: Bright Eyes, should Gamma be reprogrammed to be less Jumpy to Conclusions? the real article shouldn't be debated. Gamma: (Off-screen) I told you that I'm a cyborg, not a robot! Can't you ever see the difference between a cyborg and a robot?! Igor: Why are you guys fighting over grilled cheese sandwiches? (Tony, Bright Eyes, Anchor, Winky, Violet, and Momo look at Igor with confused looks on their faces.) Bright Eyes: But, Iggy, we don't have grilled cheese sandwiches. Violet: well, once Iggy's mind is revived, We can put an end to the arguing once and for all. Part Three (Gamma, TJ, and Marcus, now joined by Holly, Cooler, and Elaine, enter.) Gamma: All right. Now that Cooler is here, I shall prove without a shadow of a doubt that Igor was a victim of a murder for hire plot. (Gamma was about to show Cooler and Holly, but Igor stops him.) Igor: Wait! It's all coming back to me! I remember now. Gamma: All right, Igor. Will you kindly tell everyone... (glaring at TJ and Marcus) And I mean everyone... (softly petting Igor) What happened to you? Igor: Hmm... Let me see. After the Adoption, I was soon spooked after hearing someone which sounded like Kaptain Kid. I ran like crazy, and I fell into a sinkhole, from what I was told, a camper found inside me, and got me out. Then afterwards, everything went black. (TJ and Marcus give sly looks at Gamma.) Gamma: But... I don't understand. Wait, what exactly did the camper look like? Igor: Hmm... From what I gathered, he was Three feet, eight inches, had a scar on his left brow, and had a quiet voice. Gamma: By any chance, he wouldn't happen to look like... (shows Igor the image of the assassin, who is exactly what Igor described) this, do you? Igor: What? No! And when did you take that picture?! Gamma: I took the picture while I was witnessing Kaptain Kid talking to the assassin you just described. (Smirking at Marcus and TJ) Any objections? Igor: Assassin?! NO! I said I was injured 4 days ago. Besides, that Photo was made over a week ago. Gamma: No matter how old it is, evidence is evidence. Shortly after Cooler found you, I showed the evidence to my friends back at the police station and had him arrested. Of course, he confessed to the assassination plot and had a bottle of anesthesia followed by a bottle of DM13 and a meat cleaver. Igor: I told You, I wasn't targeted after the Adoption. Why won't You listen to Reason?! I... fell... in... a... Sinkhole...! and that camper You claim that He's an hired Henchman, helped Me out. (Gamma shows Igor the video camera footage. It shows the assassin in jail, making an apology.) Assassin: Igor, if you're watching this video, I want to say that I'm sorry for knocking you out with the anesthesia and trying to kill you. I was jealous of you and I went to Kaptain Kid to get rid of you. I hope you'll understand. Igor: But... that's not possible... Cooler? We need Whopper's Lie Detector. I want to be double sure. Gamma: That wouldn't be necessary. (Pulls out a folder) Here are the actual results of the lie detector test given to the assassin back at the police station. Here the questions. "Did you try to kill Igor?", "Were you hired in a murder plot?" . "Are you jealous of Igor?". Of course, he denied. The results... He was a flat-out liar except for the third, which He said "Why would I be jealous". Do you need any more information? Igor: It's like You're trying to become a false Hero. besides, You were badgering that guy. I'd call it Attempted Intimidation. Vigor: Yeah. You were pressuring that Guy, which affected the Detector. and I think I'd agree with Iggy about reprogramming You. (Gamma feels guilty.) Gamma: Okay. Okay. I confess. I made it all up. I made it up because nobody knows what happened to you. The footage was taken one week before you went to adoption. What else do you want from me?! (Gamma angrily smashes the video camera and tears up the lie detector results.) Gamma: But just to let you know, Igor, I was worried and scared for you. I was concerned that I got caught up in the story. And to make you feel more satisfied, I am resigning my position as a Staff member of this pound. (Gamma leaves, slamming the door behind him.) Cooler: Gamma! Wait! (Cooler goes after Gamma. TJ and Marcus smirk.) TJ: Serves him right for being full of himself. Marcus: Indeed. I never trusted that wannabe anyway. Igor: Don't think you're off the hook, You two. You were fabricating as well, I have a special punishment for You two, and something else for Gamma... with Holly's input, and Tony's OK. TJ/Marcus: (With uneasy looks on their faces) Uh oh. (Later, Outside Igor's house, Igor, in crutches, sits on the grass as He teaches Gamma the Law System. Bright Eyes, Dumbo, Momo, Cooler, Winky, and Anchor are with him.) Igor: And so, that's why You can't make any Abrupt Accusations without a proper investigation, for they are called Jumping to Conclusions. so, You see, Gamma, it's called a fair trial. And any denial it would be a violation of the First Amendment. Gamma: Hmm... I guess the law school I went to didn't teach me that. Igor: So I guess you won't be resigning? Gamma: Resign? No. Sometimes I say things I don't mean. (TJ and Marcus, in maid outfits, enter. Gamma tries not to laugh.) TJ: We cleaned Bright Eyes' dog house. Marcus: Anything else you want us to do, Igor? (Gamma gives Marcus and TJ a list.) Gamma: Actually, I've got a little list... for you two. (Marcus and TJ look at the list.) TJ: Polish Howler's derby, go on a nature home with Vigor and Precious... Marcus: Kitchen duty at the puppy power cafe, shine Momo's swords, and... Marcus and TJ: (Shocked) GIVE DUMBO A PEDICURE?! (Dumbo shows his feet and wiggles his toes.) Dumbo: And don't forget to rub some lavender lotion in between my toes. (Marcus and TJ groan and look at the camera.) Gamma: Igor, now that I learned about fair trails, I'm ready for my punishment. As long as it doesn't involve wearing a maid's outfit. TJ and Marcus: (Embarrassed) Shut up, Gamma! Gamma: Hey, just saying. Igor: Well, Gamma, how about this? On the Wedding Day of Me and Bright Eyes, you'll arrange the wedding. Whadda You say? Gamma: Well, I have no objections to that. Igor: Thanks. She'll be quite happy. Marcus: Hey! That's not fair! TJ: How come he gets the wedding day arrangement and we get to rub Dumbo's feet?! Igor: Because Gamma learned his mistake and you didn't. Deal with it! Gamma: I can assure you that your wedding will be the best. Igor: Of Course. Gamma: I'll get started with the design. (Gamma hugs Igor and leaves.) Dumbo: And now... (Sits down on a couch and shows his feet.) The pedicure. (TJ and Marcus then proceed to give Dumbo a pedicure as Igor, Bright Eyes, Momo, Cooler, Winky, and Anchor walk toward them.) Dumbo: And remember, lavender lotion in between the toes. (Marcus rubs the lotion on Dumbo's feet as TJ files Dumbo's toe nails.) Igor: Looks like you two are at the hands of "the feet". (Igor laughs.) Igor: Get it? Hands of "the feet"? (Everyone else looks at Igor awkwardly.) Igor: What? Marcus: Please don't make that pun again. Igor: Huh? You, Sir, have no taste. Marcus: No, seriously, that was a bad pun. Dumbo: I may be stupid, but even I wouldn't make a pun that bad. End of Delusional Iggy Act 2: The Farming Life Isn't for Me Part One (At the rumpus room, Igor, Vigor, Precious, Chew Chew, Cookie, Cupcake, Winky, July, and Bright Eyes are playing goldfish.) Igor: Do you have any queenies? Winky: Queenies? Vigor: That's his way of saying "queens". Winky: Oh. Goldfish. (Wishbone and Tony enter.) Tony: Yo, Iggy, you have a phone call. Igor: Thank you. (gets the phone.) Hello? Oh, hi mom! What's that? You and dad are coming for a visit? Well, that sounds fine. When are you coming? Oh. Okay. Bye mom. (Igor hangs up the phone.) Wishbone: What's up, Iggy? Igor: Mom and dad are coming for a visit. Vigor(excited): Really? Igor: Yep. Wish I was prepared. Wishbone: Your wish is my command. (Wishbone claps his hands and Igor is dressed up in a gray suit, green tie, and white pants.) Igor: I don't mean literally. Wishbone: Sorry. It's just a habit of mine. It never gets old. Igor: Well, thanks for trying to help. Wishbone: Anytime, Igor. Tony: Do you want me and Wishbone to help you guys get prepared for your parents arrival? Igor: Sure. every little bit helps. Wishbone: Okay, let's get started. Category:Fan made episodes Category:Fan Fiction Category:What If's Category:Fan made episodes starring Igor Category:Fan made episodes starring Marcus Category:Fan made episodes starring TJ Category:Fan made episodes starring Gamma